Shared values and changing attitudes have led to a societal shift in the past two decades. With better access to education and increased job opportunities, women have prioritized their careers over settling down. In 2010, the average age of a couple getting married for the first time was 26, and in 2023 it was 32. This shift has allowed single individuals to develop life experiences, identify their passions, and consider marriage as a potential future.
Despite the societal shifts, religious beliefs and traditions continue to hold significance in today’s culture. In a 2020 Pew Poll, 62% of participants identified with Christian beliefs, 6% with Jewish traditions, 2% with Muslim practices, and almost 30% had no religious affiliation. This diversity of beliefs and traditions is a testament to the enduring importance of religion in our culture.
Even for those who do not consider themselves particularly religious, the influence of religious traditions is often felt when planning a wedding. The image of a chapel, garden, or beach ceremony with guests and a religious figure to conduct the affair is a common scenario. Marriage and family are two of the most cherished of life’s milestones, such as high school and college graduation, starting a career, or moving out.
Although interest in marriage has waned, many of the reasons for getting married are the same. According to a recent article published in Psychology Today, the primary reasons couples marry are love and companionship, emotional and financial security, a desire to have children, social pressures, and religious beliefs.
Many couples enter into a prenuptial agreement to protect their assets during and after the marriage and to settle issues of alimony and property division should a separation occur. Some religious traditions require couples to have a prenuptial agreement regarding their roles in the marriage, how the assets will be maintained and eventually divided, how the children will be raised, etc., while others prohibit prenups altogether.
Judaism – Since the early 1990s, the Jewish community has used a prenuptial agreement to prevent spouses from refusing to grant the other a divorce. The halachic prenuptial agreement is a legal agreement recognized by civil courts, which essentially requires a spouse to grant their partner a divorce, allowing them to remarry eventually. Should the spouse refuse to grant the divorce, they must pay their ex a daily fine of $150 until the divorce document, known as the get in Judaism, is completed. By signing a prenup, the couple agrees to abide by the beit din’s decision (rabbinical court) and must accept the divorce. Couples can marry without this document but risk living in a perpetual marital limbo should their marriage go south.
Islam – The Qu’ran establishes a financial gift the groom gives in contemplation of marriage called a mahr. Half of it is paid at the wedding, and the other half is deferred and is only paid if there is a divorce. As women are not allowed to file for a religious divorce unless special permission is granted, the husband’s ability to end the marriage whenever he chooses can leave his wife destitute and homeless. The deferred dowry is provided for her financial well-being. Many couples are encouraged to agree to a second prenup, which details how the couple will live following the teachings and traditions of Islam, and they promise to raise their children in the faith. This second example is for religious purposes only and is not considered a legal document.
Catholicism – The Catholic Church, contrary to popular misconception, is not against all prenuptial agreements. Prenuptial agreements within the Church do not exist. The Church views marriage as a life-long commitment and considers a prenup to be a plan for divorce. Additionally, in the Catholic faith, assets are shared in the marriage, so there is no division of individual and shared property once a couple is married. However, sometimes exceptions are made. If an older widowed couple marries and wants to make sure their individual families will benefit from their assets after they have passed, the Church would agree to a prenup.
A prenup must be in writing, voluntarily signed by both parties and notarized. Parties must provide full disclosure of their assets, be represented by an independent counsel, and be given sufficient time to read and evaluate the document in its entirety. The prenup can be invalidated if any of those requirements are not followed. Additionally, if the agreement was deceptive because inaccurate information (usually financial) was provided, or it includes unenforceable terms such as child custody, who gets the pets, or non-financial activity such as household duties. A prenup can be considered invalid if one party receives almost all of the marital assets or has other unfair terms.
Child custody and how the children will be raised can be part of a religious ceremonial promise, but not a prenup. The courts determine child custody and based on those custody decisions, the parents can agree to maintain their religious practices. Any behavioral controls such as obligatory visits from the in-laws, scheduled intimacy, monetary gifts for pregnancies, religious practices such as the frequency of attendance to religious services, or strict dietary rules are not valid aspects of a prenup.
Lastly, a bride who signs an agreement under duress can later challenge its validity. When families have invested time and effort in creating the “perfect” union, gaslighting and pressuring the bride or groom to accept their roles without question or hesitation and uphold the religious traditions of their community, it is a form of duress and could invalidate a prenup.
The New Jersey Appellate Division presided over a case in 1994 involving an Orthodox Jew couple. The wife claimed she agreed to a marital settlement under duress. Her husband threatened not to sign the Get (a bill of divorce) unless she signed over the deed to the marital home and paid him $25,000 in a lump sum. Without the Get, she would be prohibited from dating or remarrying. The Court determined his action to be akin to extortion and granted the wife possession of the property.
Prenuptial agreements, whether religious or civil, must be reviewed by a knowledgeable attorney for your benefit. It is imperative that your future not be jeopardized by an unfair prenup or overbearing religious pressures that force you to sign an unfair agreement. Likewise, if you feel you have entered into an invalid prenup, you deserve legal help. At the Bronzino Law Firm, we believe that a prenuptial agreement is a way to plan for your future as a couple and a family. We want to work with you to create a prenup that reflects your beliefs while providing for you both financially in an equitable manner. We help clients in Beachwood, Brick, Neptune, Howell, Brielle, Toms River, Sea Bright, Island Heights, and across Ocean and Monmouth County with prenuptial agreement matters and other family law issues. To learn more, call us today for a free initial consultation at (732) 812-3102 or reach out to us online.
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