Cost is one of the biggest advantages when it comes to mediation. It is substantially less expensive as opposed to litigation. A mediator is paid per hour, per session, and the cost is split between two people. Many mediators do not require a retainer as lawyers do (from $2,000 to $10,000) and charge about $200 per hour instead of a lawyer’s fees which can run from $250-$600 per hour. If the Carrisons choose to mediate their divorce settlement, on the first day, they spend 4 hours with their mediator at the cost of $150 per hour. That means each spouse paid $300 for that session. If the Greens went straight to litigation and spent 5 hours waiting for their turn in court, they have just spent $1,250 each and haven’t even started their case. Of course, there will be times when mediation can stall and become more expensive, but even then, it is less than litigation.
Private mediation sessions can be scheduled at the convenience of everyone involved. This provides ample time for preparation and reflection instead of court sessions which are subject to availability on the calendar. The efficiency of mediation takes much less time in terms of conflict resolution than litigation.
Rest assured that litigation leaves no stone unturned, no matter how delicate the subject matter. What is left of your dignity disappears as every text message, and email rapidly becomes common knowledge and on the record. Mediation is a confidential process that allows couples to be upfront and sincere, their minds eased by the fact that the sessions and their contents are private.
Anytime a relationship ends, emotions are running high. Mediation is effective at turning points of contention into points of consideration. This is not to say that sensitive subjects suddenly become inconsequential. Still, the ability to speak in confidence in a meeting room instead of putting on a show of sorts in an extensive, formal courtroom provides an opportunity for sincerity and flexibility in a safe space of mutual respect.
The less conflict, the better for everyone involved, especially the children. It isn’t just about “winning” when you are both hurting your kids. It is essential that you set an example of how to reach a compromise, even when you may not like each other very much right now. Children should never be forced to choose sides or to “tattle” on the other parent as fodder for mud-slinging in court. Adult issues should stay between the adults, but children will overhear or perceive discord. There is no doubt that there will be questions, but it is an excellent opportunity to talk about peaceful conflict resolution.
There are times when mediation is not voluntary. The NJ Courts frequently send couples to mediation before settling the divorce in a courtroom to allow the couple an opportunity to resolve their disputes through mediation rather than hashing them out over a lengthy, contentious trial. Parents focus on the best interests of their children more often than not, putting their well-being ahead of any personal agenda against their ex. Divorce is a scary time for everyone, and when children see the grown-ups acting as such, they feel more confident and less anxious. Another plus is that court-mandated mediation for child-related issues is free.
Whenever child custody is involved in a split, the couple is ordered to participate in mediation. The couple must construct a parenting plan in mediation to present to the Court. Not all plans are complete because sometimes the relationship breaks down and will not move further, but custody mediation gets the ball rolling. Parents who take an active role in the choices made regarding their parenting plan and child support are more likely to work together when future situations require it.
Mediation is not for everyone, but it can be a quicker and less expensive way to settle your divorce. Also, couples who go through mediation have more success in their relationships with new partners thereafter. There is nothing easy about getting a divorce, but you can be given negotiating tools that you can use moving forward by using mediation.
Bronzino Law Firm knows that there are many issues on which you need to decide. We do not believe in a cookie-cutter divorce. Our goal is to map out a plan with you, listen to what you want for your family, and help to implement that plan. The alternative dispute resolution options are there for the taking, if that is the most suitable venue for your family law matter. Whether you choose to litigate or go to mediation, we will be behind you all of the way.
If you want to discuss the possibility of mediation with one of our mediation lawyers in Sea Girt, Toms River, Berkeley, Stafford, Howell, Holmdel, Jackson, Freehold, or any town in Ocean and Monmouth Counties, contact us at (732) 812-3102 to schedule a consultation or fill out our online contact form to get back to you.
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